Adventures at the Ramada

The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent or guys who have girlfriends or fiancées...or secure jobs they would like to keep.

I knew Thursday night at the Shehrazad Bar at the Ramada was going to be interesting, when Bob got denied entry due to the fact that he was wearing sandals. The dress code for the Shehrazad Bar is smart casual. NOWHERE does it say "NO SANDALS", but as soon as the "bouncer" saw Bob's sandals he said he couldn't come into the bar. OK, everyone in Qatar wears sandals...but not in this bar. Maybe they have an unwritten "no sandal" rule to keep out the sandaled people (non-Westernized Arabs and blue collar expats). White collar expats and Westernized Arabs usually wear dress shoes or sneakers, but then again I was wearing sandals at work earlier that day. OH WELL ANOTHER D'OHA MOMENT. D'OH...We had walked to the bar (no drinking and driving in Qatar, you drink and drive and get caught by the police, you leave the country involuntarily), but we took a cab back to our villa compound had Bob put on a pair of Tom's sneakers and back we went to the bar in the cab...again. When we walk into the bar, I instantly notice that it's a sausage fest, a helmet party, a room full of swinging dicks...a bar FULL of straight Western and non-Western (mostly non-Western) heterosexual men and Asian prostitutes...and maybe 5 older Western women with their friends or husbands...AHHHHH, D'oha.

The first thing I saw when I walked into the bar was an Asian prostitute go up to Western bar patron and proposition him. I looked at Tom and said that the girl must be a pro. Tom didn't believe me. He was like, "NO they are just friends"...RIGHT (sarcasm).

Next Tom, Bob, and I got our two complementary beers apiece with our drink tickets from the 50 Riyal cover charge.

And then the fun REALLY began...a fight breaks out a foot in front of me between two Asian bar patrons. The cool thing about the fight is that they fought themselves out of the bar. In a bar fight in the States, you would normally stand your ground and have the bouncers push you out of the bar. Not in Qatar, the patrons push themselves outside as they fight. The other interesting thing about the fight is that the area were the fight occured was devoid of people for about 10 minutes. It was like it was hallowed ground that had beer spilled on it.

Not soon after the fight the house band started up. Tonight The Greatest House Band in the World (my name for them, they are called Street Noiz, or some other lame name like that) wasn't on stage. Instead The NEW Greatest House Band in the World (my name for them) was on stage rockin' out. The lead singer had Dee Snider of Twister Sister hair(http://www.deesnider.com/ and http://www.twistedsister.com/), but he was singing like an Asian Meatloaf (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meat_Loaf and http://www.meatloaf.net/). I probably thought this because he sang a decent version of Meatloaf's "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" They also sang "Eye of the Tiger" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_Of_The_Tiger) by Survivor and other 80s and 90s tunes like "I Will Always Love You", the Whitney Houston version, not the Dolly Parton version. The band had these silver lamé outfits with capes...awesome!

But I digress, back to the story.

Tom wanted to know what the name of the band was so, he leaned over to one of the Asian women next to him and said:"What is the name of the band?" Her reply "300 Riyals." He replied back to her: "No, I said what is the name of the band?" Her reply: "OK, 200 Riyals." In case you haven't figured it out yet, "300 Riyals" and "200 Riyals" are NOT the name of the band. Tom got propositioned by an Asian prostitute. Finally, Tom believed me that YES, there were in fact Asian prostitutes at the Shehrazad Bar at the Ramada. A few minutes later Bob got propostioned by a different prostitute..."200 Riyals" she said to him.

So what did we learn by this:
1. The going rate for an Asian prostitiute in Doha, Qatar is 200 Riyals ($54.79 USD at a 3.65 Riyal to the US dollar exchange rate, if you "bargain").
2. Since no one took the "ladies of the evening" up on their offer, we don't know what you get for 200 Riyals...it can't be good and you might have to go see a doctor to make it go away.
3. And YES, there are Asian prostitutes at the Shehrazad Bar at the Ramada, DUH!!!!!!!!

After the band finished it's final set and we finished our quickly warming beers (the AC sucked, but then again it was 100 degrees outside and wall to wall sweaty people inside) we made a bee-line for the 24/7 Dairy Queen across the parking lot where I had a double cheesburger, french fries, a Coke...and finished that all off with a large Snickers blizzard.

After DQ, we hailed a cab, dropped Bob off at his compound while Tom and I headed back to our villa compound to think about the night's events.

So, if you are in town, I'll see you at the Shehrazad Bar. I will buy the first round...but not the prostitutes.